LESLIE ROHONCZY, Certified Integral Master Coach(TM)
Do you ever find yourself lost in thought, unaware of what's really going on in your mind? Many of us move through life on autopilot, unconsciously navigating our daily routines. This mental shortcut is often helpful—imagine having to think about every step of making coffee each morning! Thankfully, our brains have already made a mental map of the rooms and daily behaviors that we typically engage in. We don’t have to make every little decision consciously – where the light switch is located, how many steps to the sink, where the cups are located, how to make the tap water flow – these are all done on autopilot, reserving our cognitive brain power for more important things.
This autopilot mode becomes evident when we arrive at work without remembering the commute or realize we've nodded through a meeting without absorbing a word. We might even snap, "I'm not mad!" when we're clearly upset. These moments show how much we operate on unconscious patterns.
But what if we could expand our awareness and become more intentional about our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions? By practicing 'intentional noticing,' we can step outside our immediate experiences, view them from new perspectives, and uncover hidden insights that can transform our mindset and behavior.
Awareness isn't easy; we often live subject to our perceptions, believing our beliefs and behaviors are fixed parts of our identity. You might see yourself as shy, conflict-averse, or unable to learn new skills. These self-narratives can limit us, driving unconscious beliefs and actions.
The goal of this coaching practice is to foster self-awareness, identify limiting beliefs, and generate fresh insights. It helps you explore unseen possibilities and guides you toward your aspirational self. By turning 'subject' into 'object,' we can examine what's causing our discomfort, gaining clarity and new choices.
Instructions: Five Steps to Unpack Limiting Beliefs
Find a quiet spot and spend 30 minutes reflecting on the following five questions. Capture your thoughts in a journal as the foundation of your actionable plan.
Step 1: WHAT - Identify the Limiting Belief
Name the belief driving the behavior you want to change. For instance, if you see the world as dangerous, you might avoid speaking up in meetings, focus on safety, and shy away from conflict. For example: "I believe it’s unsafe to speak up, so I stay quiet to avoid drawing attention."
Step 2: WHAT IS - Gather Supporting Evidence
Identify evidence you use to support this belief. You might focus on negative news, crime statistics, and potential risks. For example: "I worry about criticism and negative feedback, ruminating on times when others were shut down or ridiculed for their ideas."
Step 3: WHAT ELSE - Seek Opposing Evidence
Find evidence that contradicts your belief. Ask how you are safe right now, what systems maintain order, how risks can be beneficial, and what rewards may be possible as a result. For example: "When I think about it, there have been meetings where colleagues who spoke up were praised for their input, and their ideas led to productive discussions. My workplace values open communication and has structures in place for respectful dialogue."
Step 4: WHAT IF - Imagine a New Behavior
Visualize how you would act if the limiting belief weren't true. Consider how you'd behave differently and the potential positive outcomes. For example: "If I believed it was safe to speak up, I would share my ideas confidently during meetings, knowing that my contributions are valued and can lead to positive changes. I would engage more actively in discussions and build stronger relationships with my colleagues, and would be recognized for my contributions."
Step 5: WHAT NOW - Experiment with New Actions
How might you experiment with behaving this way now? Start small and gradually build your confidence in acting against your limiting belief. For example: "In the next team meeting, I'll prepare a few points I want to share. I'll start by making a small comment or asking a question to ease into speaking up. Over time, I'll present my ideas and perspectives regularly, inviting feedback and discussion from my colleagues."
HAPPY EXPERIMENTING!
For more coaching and leadership development practices, visit www.leslierohonczy.com.