Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Leadership Coach | June 2024
In a world that glorifies hustle, many of us have fallen into the toxic productivity trap: the relentless drive to be constantly busy and accomplished, often at the expense of our well-being. This obsessive pursuit of success can become a destructive cycle, leaving us feeling guilty when we're not working, dissatisfied and exhausted when we are.
But what if there was a way to break free from the chains of toxic productivity? What if we could redefine success in a way that allowed us to mindfully embrace downtime, set boundaries, allow support, and hold ourselves with compassion?
The Productivity Pressure
For many, the pressure to be productive is a constant companion. It urges us on, driven by societal expectations, cultural norms, and the pervasive influence of social media that features perfect, shiny people in states of perpetual productivity. The underlying message is clear: to be valuable, we must be busy, accomplished, and continuously achieving.
I’ve wrestled with toxic productivity for most of my life. I remember always feeling ‘antsy’ in stillness and rarely let myself become truly bored. If boredom somehow snuck through my defense shields, I would twitch and whinge for awhile, and then try to find ways to self-sooth, usually through creative ideation (aka having a party in my head) just so that I would feel productive in some way. Of course, that’s been beneficial in some ways: for channeling creativity, innovation, and problem-solving, for example. But this kind of productivity also has a dark side: it’s been a relentless taskmaster that leaves no room for stillness; only a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) gnawing feeling of guilt tied to the perception of laziness, or an anxious feeling that I’ve wasted precious time that could have been used more productively. And when I haven’t kept it in check, this constant drive has led to stress, overwhelm, and a sense of not being ‘enough’, no matter how much I achieved.
Even now, people frequently comment on my busyness and level of output. There’s no denying that a part of me that finds it energizing to list the ‘productive’ activities I love so much: executive coaching, team and leadership development sessions, mentoring coaches, making Coaching Minute videos, songwriting, recording and producing original music, rehearsals and live performances, teaching music, writing articles like this one, book events, painting and making jewellery. FUN!! And yet… there’s also considerable discomfort when I read it all in one sentence, because it reveals how deeply I’ve internalized the need to be constantly producing. The concept of 'rest' becomes intertwined with laziness, further fueling a toxic cycle of productivity, guilt and anxiety.
Perhaps this experience resonates for you, too.
The Personal Experience of Toxic Productivity
The internal conflict between the urge to 'do' and the need to 'be' is a common struggle. On one hand, there is a drive to meet deadlines, achieve goals, and maximize every moment. On the other, there’s a longing for peace, for time spent in the present without the looming shadow of the next task. This dichotomy can lead to significant mental and emotional distress. When we're not actively producing, we might feel a pervasive sense of worthlessness or fear that we're falling behind. This can manifest in various ways: stress, burnout, irritability, and physical health issues. When this happens, we know that our productivity has become toxic.
Toxic productivity can show up in different ways: you may seem to others to really have it all together, but you may secretly be battling a constant need to outperform your last achievement. Perhaps you come across as always on top of your game, but you are sacrificing your personal life and mental health to maintain that image. And as much as you’d like to think you’ve got it under control, toxic productivity is not a solitary experience. Many people around us, regardless of their background or profession, can be impacted by our toxic productivity, as they struggle with similar feelings.
The signs of toxic productivity include restlessness and difficulty relaxing, a constant need to be busy, resistance or discomfort with boredom, feeling guilty during downtime, and an inability to enjoy leisure activities without thinking you should be working or producing something useful.
Addressing toxic productivity requires a multifaceted approach. Here are some strategies to help break free from its grip:
Redefine Success
Success has long been equated with constant productivity and visible achievements. However, this narrow definition overlooks the importance of personal fulfillment and well-being as measures of true success. When we expand our understanding of what it means to lead a successful life, we recognize that a balanced integration of achievement with personal satisfaction, happiness, and health is what defines true success.
Consider my client, Laurie, a C-suite executive who, after years of non-stop work, realized she was deeply unhappy despite a long list of professional accomplishments. She began to redefine success by setting goals that included spending quality time with her family, travelling to bucket list destinations, pursuing hobbies, and prioritizing her mental health. As she shifted her focus, Laurie found that she felt more content and balanced in all aspects of her life. She was surprised to discover that her productivity didn't diminish, as she had expected it would; instead, it became more meaningful as it was aligned with her broader sense of purpose and values.
By redefining success, we begin to value moments of joy and relaxation as much as we value career milestones. Wouldn’t it be great if we could feel equally fulfilled by completing a 30-minute meditation as we would by signing a new client. Radical, I know! But this shift allows us to see downtime not as wasted time, but as essential to our overall success.
Redefining success can help mitigate the anxiety associated with feeling unproductive. When we no longer see productivity as the sole measure of our worth, we free ourselves from the constant pressure to perform. This liberation can lead to a healthier, more sustainable work and personal life.
Ultimately, redefining success is about creating a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling, beyond just the narrow definition and metrics of productivity. It encourages us to celebrate our achievements in all areas of life, including those that might not traditionally be recognized, such as personal growth, relationships, and self-care.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries are crucial for maintaining a healthy balance between our work and personal lives. Creating clear lines that separate work time from leisure time, ensuring that one does not encroach on the other, is essential for preventing burnout and preserving mental health.
Travis, the owner of an online marketing business, and self-proclaimed king of the side hustle, used to work around the clock, often sacrificing weekends and evenings to meet client demands. He was proud of the fact that he was a workaholic, and held it as a badge of honour, until he had a medical emergency that was stress-induced. Realizing the toll this was taking on his health and relationships, Travis knew he had to start setting some firm boundaries. He adjusted his pace and communicated his specific working hours to his clients. Outside of these hours, he focused on personal activities and rest. Travis feared he might lose clients by not being constantly available to them, however, to his surprise, most clients respected his boundaries, and his productivity improved significantly during his set working hours. He felt more energized and motivated, and his creativity flourished as he gave himself permission to recharge.
In addition to time-focused boundaries, there are others to experiment with, like creating the physical space for work that is separate from areas designated for relaxation. This can be challenging, especially for those working from home, but even small changes can make a big difference. For example, using a specific desk and chair for work, not having a cell phone beside his bed to charge, and avoiding bringing work-related activities into the family room or bedroom will help us reinforce the mental and physical distinction between work and personal time.
Boundaries are not just about limiting work hours; they also protect and generate specific, intentional time for rest and leisure. By setting boundaries, we prioritize our well-being and ensure that we have the necessary space to recharge. This practice can significantly reduce the feelings of guilt associated with downtime, as we come to see it as a vital part of our overall productivity, health, and self-care.
Practice Mindfulness
My client, Emma, found herself constantly anxious about work. She was a rising star who believed it was her extreme level of productivity that was fuelling her success. Emma longed to be in a steady, loving relationship, but there was just no room in her life for someone else. Emma realized she needed to make some changes, and she began by incorporating some mindfulness activities into her daily routine, beginning with a simple 4-minute breathing meditation (https://youtu.be/ZM3eYRODNbc) in the morning and evening. Over time, she added short meditation sessions and mindful walks during her lunch breaks. These practices helped her feel more grounded and less overwhelmed by her to-do list. And they also helped bring her more clarity and innovation ideas. Emma was thrilled to realize that she had become even more successful by producing less.
Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and accepting it without judgment. It can be a powerful tool to combat toxic productivity by helping us focus on the present rather than worrying about future tasks or dwelling on past performance. Mindfulness teaches us to observe our thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. For instance, when we notice the feeling of guilt about not working, we can acknowledge it without letting it dictate our actions. After all, this guilty feeling is just an emotion you’re experiencing in the moment, not a directive to take action. This perspective allows us to choose a more compassionate response to ourselves and our need for rest.
Mindfulness isn’t all about sitting cross-legged and chanting ‘ohmmm’ however. We can develop the ability to be mindful and fully present right there in the thick of it! Being fully present while we’re doing tasks can improve our focus and levels of output, lead to more efficient and effective work, and reduce the overall time spent on each task, which in turn, can create more space for relaxation and leisure activities without compromising our productivity. Mindfulness enhances overall quality of life by encouraging us to savour moments of joy and relaxation, making them more fulfilling.
Embrace Downtime
Despite how it may feel, downtime is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Periods of rest are essential for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Making time to recharge and enjoy life is a true measure of success, rather than a threat to our productivity.
David, the VP of a software engineering firm, used to feel guilty every time he took a break. He was driven by the belief that constant work was the only path to success. After experiencing some early signs of burnout, David wanted to change his approach, and began an executive coaching program focused on improving his work/life balance. The simple practice of scheduling regular breaks throughout his day had a profound effect on his wellbeing. David ran with the program, and re-dedicated his weekends to rest, family, and playing sports. Over time, he noticed a significant improvement in his energy levels, personal and professional relationships, and overall job satisfaction. David was promoted to CFO shortly after and vowed to maintain this healthy balance. His commitment to protecting downtime had an ancillary effect: because he was able to model healthier behaviours for his team, the engineering firm’s corporate culture, recruiting efforts, and employee retention improved as a result.
Embracing downtime means giving ourselves permission to rest. It involves recognizing that taking a break does not make us lazy; it makes us human. Rest helps our bodies and minds recover and refuels our energy. Engaging in hobbies, spending time in nature, reading, or simply doing nothing can be valuable ways to recharge and enhance our overall sense of well-being. When we view rest as a crucial part of our productivity cycle, we can value it just as much as the work. This shift in perspective can reduce feelings of guilt and anxiety associated with rest, leading to a healthier, more balanced approach to life. Incorporating regular downtime into our schedules can also improve our relationships. When we’re not constantly preoccupied with work, we can be more present with our loved ones, fostering deeper connections and a greater sense of support and fulfillment.
Seek Support
Seeking support is a vital step in addressing toxic productivity. It involves reaching out to friends, family, or mental health professionals to share our experiences and gain perspective. Support systems can provide encouragement, validation, and practical advice for managing the pressures of productivity.
Talking about our feelings can be incredibly liberating. When we share our struggles, we often find that others have experienced similar issues, which can reduce the sense of isolation. Friends and family can often contribute valuable insights and support that help us navigate the pressures of productivity more effectively.
And when friends and family aren’t enough, professional support, such as therapy or coaching, can also be valuable. Mental health professionals can help us identify unhealthy patterns and develop strategies to change them. They can provide tools for managing stress, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion.
Support groups can also offer a sense of community and shared experience. Being part of a group where others understand our struggles can be incredibly validating and empowering, as members share practical tips and encouragement for making positive changes.
Consider Maria, a marketing director at a highly successful agency who felt overwhelmed by her workload. During coaching discussions, we discovered that her anxiety response was far beyond the scope of what can be managed through coaching alone, so I encouraged her to seek out a therapist. Through therapy, Maria learned some critical coping strategies that helped her manage her significant anxiety, and through coaching, she learned to set and hold healthier boundaries. She also joined a support group for women who were facing similar challenges, which provided a sense of community and shared understanding. This three-pronged approach to support made a tremendous difference to Maria’s quality of life.
Seeking support can transform our relationship with productivity by helping us recognize that we don’t have to face these challenges alone. It can provide the reassurance and tools we need to prioritize our well-being and redefine our approach to work and rest.
Cultivate Self-Compassion
When we’re in the throes of toxic productivity, self-compassion rarely gets a seat at the table – striving and critical self-judgment take up all the space. But cultivating self-compassion is a powerful antidote to the toxic cycle: treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a friend means that we recognize and tolerate our imperfections and struggles, without the guilt-inducing layers of harsh judgment.
Take the example of James, a writer who often berated himself for not meeting aggressive, self-imposed deadlines. His inner critic was relentless, leaving him feeling inadequate, and leading to signs of burnout. After learning about self-compassion as part of his assigned coaching practices, James started speaking to himself differently; with kindness and compassion; with patience, acknowledging his efforts, even when he didn’t meet his goals. This shift in mindset helped him feel more at peace and less stressed.
Self-compassion involves recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. It’s about understanding that these moments are part of being human, not signs of failure. Cultivating self-compassion changes the way we view productivity. Instead of seeing it as a measure of our worth, we can see it simply as one aspect of our lives, which reduces the pressure to constantly perform and produce.
Ultimately, self-compassion can help us build a more positive relationship with ourselves. It encourages us to celebrate our efforts and achievements, no matter how small, to be gentle with ourselves when we fall short, and to examine our personal definition of success.
Remember, in the midst of all of the doing, it’s okay to just be. Embrace the present moment and embrace rest as a vital part of a successful, fulfilling and balanced life.